The Perfect Meal

I can tell alot about someone by what they order. In fact among servers, when speaking of a customer we don't use their names, rather what they usually order -- Some people simply should stay home and cook - you know who you are - you want your eggs poached for "three minutes" not a second longer, you want your potatoes "crisp but not too crispy", your bacon "medium, not too crispy, not too soft" Sheesh! This isn't the Three Little Bears and I don't have much patience for goldilocks!

For some there is just no pleasing. No matter what you bring, they will search, and always find something to complain about. We have a special complaint department for these kind of folks (A hand grenade with the number '1' on it). You can't please everyone, but we do try. The other day "Fred" came in - took his usual seat at the counter. An old boxer in his prime, now in his 80's, he has a big heart, rough exterior, and defined taste buds. He's also the same Fred that brought in a fart machine one day ( I concealed it in my apron and walked by other tables in the restaurant- the looks were hysterical! --Fred was giggling like a school boy! ) This is also the same Fred that I reserve the "Complaint Department grenade" for. Today he orders a waffle. Not too well done. With strawberries on top, "make sure they are good fresh ones, I don't want any crap strawberries." Who does? and water.

I serve him breakfast - do a quick check. Waffle looks good, berries pert and pretty. After a moment I come by to fill his water - I fill it too full. "I like my water to here," he says, showing me an invisible line 3/4 of the way on his glass. "No problem," I say as I pick up his glass and drink from it until it is down to his invisible line! I set the glass back down in front of him. "That should do it," I smile. He laughs hard! (as do those seated near him) He compliments me on a job well done. (Of course, I bring him a fresh water.) I guess today, Fred will skip his trip to the Complaint Department. Perhaps sometimes good laughs are even more important than the perfect meal.